


Regarding Jensen

by hunters_retreat



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Almost doctor Jared, Amnesia, Community: j2_reversebang, Inspired by Bourne Identity, Inspired by Fanart, Inspired by Regarding Henry, M/M, On the Run, criminal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 08:32:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16807120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: He looked at the other man and drew a complete blank.  Where his name should be, there was nothing.  No name.  No birthday.  He didn’t know where he was or what had brought him there.  He couldn’t remember being shot, or why someone would want to shoot him.  There was nothing.  No parents.  No siblings.  No childhood memories.  No adult memories either.“I don’t remember anything.”





	Regarding Jensen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amberdreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberdreams/gifts).



> Written for the J2_reversebang. For the fabulous art by amberdreams! Check it out [here](https://amberdreams.livejournal.com/599908.html)

He woke to a cracked white ceiling and a light breeze. The window beside the bed was open, letting the morning air in. It was already growing warm and outside he could hear the sound of the ocean breeze. 

The mattress was firm under him as it shifted and the sheets were soft against his bare skin. When he turned his head, a young man smiled at him.

“Good morning, Gorgeous.”

Jensen shook his head, but he reached up and pulled the other man closer. “Look whose talking,” he said as he captured his lips for a quick kiss. 

His memories might still be all jumbled up, but this he remembered. Jared was strong and sweet and somehow wanted Jensen after everything they’d been through. When Jensen didn’t know a thing about himself, Jared helped him hold on. He still didn’t understand why. How. He just knew that this was the most real thing in his life.

The edges blurred slightly as he pulled back from Jared. His lover’s hands tightened on Jensen’s arms as if to hold him there but it was his mind that was gone.

***

_“Who the hell are you?” He demanded. His voice was calm, emotionless, no matter how confused he was. Pain laced through his head and his body felt overworked and exhausted but he needed answers._

_“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m … sort of a doctor. My name is Jared. You can let me go. I’ve spent the last three days at your bedside trying to save you. I wouldn’t hurt you now.”_

_He had a scalpel to the man’s neck and Jensen could feel the beat of his heart where he held one arm against his chest. The guy was built like a fucking moose but he wasn’t trying to struggle._

_“This isn’t a hospital, Doc,” he said._

_“No. I … I was a medical intern. My life got sucked into some things I’m not proud of. Even though I straightened myself up, I can’t finish school. The people that I was with sometimes bring me people they need help with. You were shot. A bullet grazed your skull and you were shot three more times. You probably feel weak from blood loss and the medication. Please, just sit down. I’m not going to hurt you.”_

_He thought about his options and he released Jared quickly, pushing him away. No longer between him and the door._

_“Alright, that’s good,” Jared said calmly. “Why don’t we talk for a minute? Then, when you feel comfortable you can sit down and I can get you something to eat. You have to be hungry.”_

_He looked around the room, noted the door behind him, a hallway with at least two doors to the left, a bathroom to the right, and two windows in the room. A small apartment in the city, from the noise of traffic outside._

_“Hey,” Jared called his attention back to him. “Why don’t we start simple. My name is Jared. What’s your name?”_

_He looked at the other man and drew a complete blank. Where his name should be, there was nothing. No name. No birthday. He didn’t know where he was or what had brought him there. He couldn’t remember being shot, or why someone would want to shoot him. There was nothing. No parents. No siblings. No childhood memories. No adult memories either._

_“I don’t know,” he said as he looked at Jared. “I don’t remember anything.”_

_He scrambled towards the couch before his knees could collapse on him._

_“Hey? Buddy. It’s okay. It’s the head wound. Your brain experiences a significant amount of trauma. Let’s just … take it easy, okay? Just take a deep breath. A lot of times amnesia is temporary. I’ll help you figure this out, okay?”_

_“Why?” he asked. This guy, Jared, didn’t know him. Why would he be doing this?_

_“Because I wanted to be a doctor to help people. Most of the time, they bring me drug dealers and OD’d addicts. You’re the first person that might actually deserve the help.”_

_“You don’t know anything about me,” he reminded the other man._

_“Neither do you. And until you prove me otherwise, I’m gonna assume the best.”_

_“That’s … optimistic.”_

_Jared gave him a sad smile. “We all get by somehow. Maybe, I need to believe there are still good people in the world to protect.”_

_Jensen wanted to ask, but Jared got up and went into the kitchen and started preparing food. His off-tune singing and fumbling noises in the kitchen somehow soothed Jensen back to sleep._

***

Jensen stirred back to the present but he was alone in bed. He could smell coffee coming from the kitchen and the sound of Jared making breakfast made him smile. Jensen wasn’t a bad cook but Jared enjoyed taking care of Jensen so the kitchen had become Jared’s domain.

Jensen threw on some clothes and walked out to join Jared. He found him standing over the stove, scrambling eggs. He pressed a kiss to Jared’s neck before he grabbed a mug from the cabinet to pour coffee. 

“So, you decided to come back to me?” Jared asked.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Jared said over his shoulder. “I know how it is. Anything new this time?”

Jensen shook his head. “Sometimes the memories are just too strong. They all get mixed up in my head.”

Jared pulled the food off the heat and went to Jensen. He pulled him into his arms and pressed a kiss to his temple. 

“Plans for today?”

Jensen smiled. “I know we have to find work and get settled soon, but I thought since we don’t have jobs yet we could spend a day relaxing.”

“Relaxing, huh?” Jared asked. Jensen nuzzled his nose against his neck and Jared pulled him closer. “Let me guess. After breakfast, you’re thinking a nap?”

“Something that involves bed, anyway.”

“I better get you fed then.”

***

_“You said your ex brought me here?”_

_Jared sat across the table from him as they finished eating. “Yeah. I didn’t know how nasty he could get when we started dating. Obviously. Things just … got darker.” He shifted in his seat and pushed the food around on his plate. “The problem is, how to get you out of all this. He’ll come back for you. He only saved you because he’s interested in you for some reason. And that’s never good for anyone.”_

_“So why do you keep letting him do it?”_

_“He pays me well. And they might not be great people, but it is still mostly helping people. You’re the first person he’s brought to me that wasn’t one of his guys. I’ve never been in this position before.”_

_“You don’t know if I’m one of the good guys.”_

_“You didn’t hurt me.”_

_“I held a knife to your throat.”_

_“It wasn’t our best moment.”_

_He shook his head but he couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face, even in these crazy circumstances. “Jared, I’m beginning to think your idea of friendship and mine just might be different.”_

_“Yeah, well, I’m working on it.”_

_The man with no memory shifted in his seat and grimaced, which made Jared frown. “You should lie down. You’ve been through a lot.”_

_He made to stand and Jared grabbed his arm by the elbow and helped him. He didn’t need the help but he didn’t say anything. It felt nice to have someone care for him. He had a feeling that he wasn’t used to it._

_“Speaking of friendship,” Jared said softly. “We need to find you a name.”_

_“Did I have anything on me? Something we could look through?”_

_“My ex brought you in your ruined clothes and if you had something, it didn’t get left here.”_

_He sat at the edge of the bed and Jared turned to grab something on the table beside him. “The only thing you had was this. It’s just a necklace with an old quarter as a charm. I assume it has some sentimental meaning.”_

_He held his hand out and Jared placed the necklace in his hand. He looked at it for a moment and rubbed his thumb over the face of the coin. He wasn’t sure why, but he pressed harder added a little more friction to the movement. To his surprise, one side of the coin slid open like a treasure box._

_“What the hell?” Jared asked._

_There was nothing inside it, but when he held it to the light, there were two lines of scrawled letters on the inside._

_He looked up at Jared and showed it to him._

_Jared smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Jensen Ackles.”_

***

“Nice place you got here,” Jared said to the waitress as they took a seat at the diner down the block from their new apartment. 

She smiled politely, took their orders, and left quickly to get to the next table that had just been seated. It was a busy place. 

Jensen looked at the menu, but he smiled at Jared who seemed happy enough to be having dinner with him. Jared was … nothing he could describe. Even with most of his memories in tact now, he had no experiences that could compare to Jared.

“You look rather satisfied with yourself,” Jensen said to his lover.

“I did manage to get you out of bed today.”

Jensen laughed. “I don’t remember you really trying that hard.”

Jared laughed with him. “Yeah, it was a good day. A good beginning.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Jensen said. With impeccable timing, the waitress brought their drinks and Jared tipped his glass to Jensen.

***

_Besides the name Jensen Ackles, the only thing written on the inside of the coin was an address. He didn’t know why he’d engrave an address onto the coin, or if that was his name, but they had no other clues._

_Getting away from Jared’s apartment hadn’t been a problem. When Jensen – the name seemed to fit like a knife in a sheath - asked Jared about it the other man had given him a small smile and said it was staying gone that was the problem. Not getting there._

_So, the eighteen hour drive to the address was relatively uneventful. Jared had an envelope of cash that he’d used to buy a handful of prepaid cards to avoid suspicion with all the cash he had. Jensen would have questioned it but Jared told him that his ex always paid in cash so he’d learned to work around it._

_They sat in front of a small house in a small neighborhood that had seen better days. It wasn’t bad, but Jensen could see that it was on its way down. It was the kind of place were the kids didn’t play outdoors alone, where the doors were always locked, and you smiled at your neighbor on the way out the door to work, but didn’t know their names._

_They sat in the car for over an hour, then grabbed some coffee and went back to wait a little longer. Jensen was a bit paranoid, but Jared humored him._

_“So, how are you planning to get in?” Jared asked when Jensen finished his coffee and let out a deep sigh._

_Jensen shrugged. “I figured I’d see if there was anywhere obvious I’d left the key, or maybe something that just felt right.”_

_“And you still don’t recognize the place?”_

_“No. It’s not ringing any bells.”_

_“Alright. Let’s do this then.”_

_They drove down the block and pulled into a parking spot on the other side of the street from the place. When they got to the front door Jared tried to open it but it was locked. There was a fake plant next to the door and Jensen noticed something sticking out of the back of the pot._

_When he pulled it out, he held it up for Jared to see it._

_“Do you know how to use it?” Jared asked._

_“Let’s find out,” Jensen said as he opened the pick lock and pulled out the tools that he thought he would use. Jared stood between him and the road and it only took a moment before Jensen had the lock picked._

_“Looks like you do,” Jared said with a grin. “Hopefully we can learn a little more about you here.”_

_Jensen nodded, but something in his gut told him this wouldn’t be the treasure trove that Jared was hoping for._

***

This was exactly what Jensen had wanted, all day long. The bed groaned under them and Jared’s fingers on his hips dug in harder. 

“Jensen,” Jared’s voice was dark, deeper than usual, and Jensen was happy enough to be responsible for that. Jensen shifted his hips and he felt Jared’s cock slip in that much farther and he dropped his head back and moaned. 

“Jensen, if you don’t move, I swear I will move you.”

Jensen smiled up to the ceiling because Jared was strong enough to do it. For all his memories and the things he knew he could do, it thrilled him to have a lover that could manhandle him and loved it as much as he did.

He rolled his hips again and they both moaned together. Jensen leaned forward and caught Jared’s lips in a kiss just as Jared’s hands cupped his ass and he thrust up hard. He lost any thought of words, of anything that wasn’t skin and sweat and slick heat. Jared was a passionate lover, gentle and caring in moments and hard and demanding the next. 

Whatever Jensen threw at him, Jared was willing to take. He was always bruised after their lovemaking, be it bite makes, the press of fingers, or the scrape of nails. Jared couldn’t let him out of bed without them. Jensen didn’t mind at all. 

He was flipped onto his back and when Jared pressed back into his body, he twined their fingers together, pulled Jensen’s hands over his head, and fucked him long and hard.

“Jared, fuck,” Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared’s lower back and shifted with the press of Jared’s hips.

“Yeah,” Jared whispered against his temple. 

He picked up the speed of his thrusts and Jensen wasn’t able to speak anymore.

***

_He tried to catch his breath but the rope around his neck was cutting off oxygen and he wasn’t able to get an upper hand. He scrambled to get something – anything – in hand but at this point he was mostly just flailing. He heard a noise and turned his head slightly and he could see Jared on the other side of the room, a random assailant attacking. Jared kept the table between them but Jensen had to get to him._

_This was his fault._

_Jensen braced his legs against the edge of the kitchen counter and pushed with all his strength. It surprised his opponent and they stumbled back together. They hit the wall hard and Jensen felt the rope loosen. He grabbed it and jerked it, managing to get free of the guy. He threw an elbow into the guys gut and turned. He was already throwing a punch to try to catch him off guard. He managed and the guy fell back again._

_On the kitchen counter was a set of knives and Jensen pulled one from the wood block and slashed at the guy’s chest. The guy stumbled, and with the advantage he had from the surprise attack gone, it was obvious he was no match for Jensen._

_Three more slashes and Jensen planted the knife in the guy’s chest._

_He pulled another knife from the block, and headed back to other room where Jared was struggling with his attacker._

***

Jensen settled into Jared’s arms as they relaxed on the couch together. Their place had a small fireplace and Jared had started the fire when Jensen went to grab a couple beers. 

“You really think we’re safe here?” Jared asked.

Jensen leaned up and pressed a kiss to Jared’s lips. “Feels safe enough right here.”

Jared smiled softly and Jensen couldn’t help but kiss him again. Jared was a contradiction that Jensen could spend a lifetime unraveling. He was sweet and caring, but he was also a brawler that had proven he could handle himself in a fight. He was a healer who only wanted the best for people, but his hands were far more experienced with blades and bullet wounds than writing prescriptions and office visits. 

“I mean it.”

Jensen sighed. “I know. It’s been a year since we last moved because we thought they’d found us. I think this time, we can relax. We deserve that.”

“It’s been a long time since I was able to let my guard down,” Jared said.

“I know, but we’ve done everything we can. Your ex is gone and if the agency comes for me again, they know I will burn their house down.”

Jared smiled. “For a stone cold killer, you’re rather cuddly.”

Jensen laughed and felt Jared’s arms tighten around him. He relaxed and smiled at the fire. There was nothing like being with Jared. Nothing like being in his arms. He would take on anyone that tried to stand between them.

***

_The nightmares were the same and Jensen sat up in bed, too quick, too abrupt, and a second later, a hand was set on his lower back._

_“Jensen?”_

_“I’m okay,” he lied. He wasn’t. The things he remembered. The things he’d done. He couldn’t place them all. Some of the faces seemed familiar. Some he knew from the news. Some cities and places were obvious. Paris, D.C., Sydney. Other places were just background for nastiness. Jensen’s gloved hands around someone’s throat. Jensen on a rooftop, a blood splattered wall across from him if he looked far enough on the rifle’s scope. A well-placed package that blew up as Jensen walked away. He didn’t know why he had killed all those people, but he had._

_“Lay back down,” Jared tried to pull him close but Jensen pushed away and dragged his legs over the edge of the bed._

_“Jensen, please.”_

_“You said… I was the first person he brought you that might be worth helping. That was a lie, Jared. I’m not a good person.”_

_Jared shifted to sit behind him. “We don’t know the full story. So far, you’ve just defended yourself. We don’t know what your dreams mean.”_

_“No matter how you look at it, Jared, I killed a lot of people. And there was no self-defense. I killed them. Some I made to look like accidents and others I didn’t even care. Jared, who the hell am I?”_

_It’d been three weeks on the run. Three weeks of looking over their shoulders, of moving from one clue to another, but there was one constant in all of it. Jared._

_“Hey,” Jared moved across the bed until he was sitting beside him, facing him. “You are the man I love.”_

_Jensen’s eyes widened. “Jared, you can’t-“_

_“Yeah, horrible idea. I get that. Maybe I have awful taste in men, but I know what I feel. I don’t care what you did, Jensen. I don’t care who you killed. All I care is that we deal with this now, and then you and I run and bury ourselves so deep and so fast that they can’t ever find us. It’s us now. You and me. Until the End.”_

_“Jared, I …”_

_“Love me, Jensen.”_

_“That might not even be my name.”_

_“Then, if you find you’re someone else, I’ll have to learn to say I love you to that name. It doesn’t matter to me. You have my heart. Can’t take it back. Elvis has left the building.”_

_Jensen tried to argue again, but Jared swallowed his argument with his kisses and when he pulled Jensen down onto the mattress and pressed into him, he was drawn into the temptation that was Jared._

_“I’m not a good man,” he whispered in Jared’s ear, because above all else, he’d dragged Jared with him into a life of secrecy and looking over his shoulder. In this heart, Jensen knew it was the worst crime he’d committed._

_“Then you’re my bad man.”_

***

“Come here, Bad Man,” Jared teased as he held his arms out. Jensen settled into him and Jared couldn’t help but breath easier with Jensen pressed to his chest.

As always, the need to have this man, to take and mark and bite and fuck, burrowed under his skin. It had been a long day of nothing but love making and taking every opportunity to indulge in their bodies. 

Jared thought about pushing his way into Jensen’s gorgeous body one more time before sleep took him, but he smiled as he whispered into Jensen’s ear. “Gonna wait until you’re asleep, then I’m gonna fuck you so soft and slow you won’t even wake for it.”

Jensen groaned and pressed his ass further into Jared, rubbing against his slowly hardening cock. Slowly only because of the sheer among of sex they’d already had.

“Shut up then, and let me sleep,” Jensen teased.

Fuck, he’d become so trusting. He would let Jared do anything. Anything. If he asked to tie him up, he’d let him. If he said he was going to choke him out while they fucked, he’d let him. If Jared hinted that he wanted them to leave this place, he would. Jensen trusted him when he was still trying to remember all the people he’d destroyed and the ones he needed to run from. 

There were plenty who wanted Jensen’s head and Jensen was good enough to keep them all running themselves. He got the dirt he needed to keep them safe, at least until the next up and comer decided to try their hand at him. 

Jared pressed a kiss to Jensen’s neck and his lover slowly fell into sleep. Jared wanted to make good on his promise, but he had to take care of something else first. 

He rose from the bed and slowly padded across the bedroom floor.

Another sign of trust. There was no doubt that Jensen, subconsciously, had heard him and had decided to stay asleep. There were too many nights when Jensen’s light sleeping habits had saved them both. 

Jared made his way out to the kitchen and got a glass of water. He settled against the counter and slowly sipped on the cold drink. There was still no sign that Jensen was awake. 

Jared set his glass down and went to the pantry and found his backpack there. They both has one packed, ready to go in case they ever had to leave in a hurry. 

Jared carefully pulled his out and unzipped the smaller compartment. There was a hidden pocket inside and Jared reached in and pulled out the phone inside. He closed the compartment and then put the bag aside. If Jensen did wake and come out, wonder where his fuck went, Jared could just tell him he needed to doublecheck. To be safe.

Jensen trusted him.

Jared put the passcode in and opened the messaging app on the phone. It was secured. Only one person in the world had access to it and he’d been with his handler since his recruitment. 

He’d been the one to set Jared up with his ex to help get him into the criminal elements of the city. He was the one that had told Jared to run with the amnesia patient and see if he could find out anything interesting about his contacts or the people he worked for. He was the one that found out that Jensen Ackles was the assassin known by only a select few as the Jackal. 

He was the only one that knew Jared well enough to know that Jensen was under his skin and Jared trusted him well enough to find a way to bury him so deep no one remembered who Jared Padalecki was.

He thought for a moment before he typed out one last message.

**Regarding Jared; terminate all contact and connections.**

It had to be done. There was no other way to keep Jensen safe. No other way to protect the man who had stolen his heart. No other way to keep him from finding out Jared had been the one to put the bullet in him in the first place and losing everything he’d gained since his ex had unknowing dragged Jared’s botched mission to his doorstep.

A moment later a new message flashed on the screen. 

**Regarding Jensen?**

Jared thought about this answer too, but he already knew what he as going to do. It would confirm any suspicions his old handler had about why Jared had gone off the rails, but they’d known each other too long for him to backpedal now. 

**Regarding Jensen; terminate all contracts and connections.**

And he typed the one thing that would explain it all to Jeff. Jeff had been damn good to him over the years and Jared though he might actually be happy for him if he knew.

**Elvis has left the building.**


End file.
